Burn baby burn

So at the start of my 4th week of radiation I started to feel the true affects of radiation therapy....the burn.  Or as RC patients call it, the butt burn.  My mom for weeks had been asking how my skin was doing.  I guess I wasn't paying attention or maybe didn't truly understand what she was talking about.  I have a tendency to enter into certain situations not wanting to know all the details.  During my first pregnancy I was the mom that didn't go to the birthing classes....probably should have done that.  Oh well, it worked out well anyways, my baby girl is going to be 4 in about a week.  So anyways back to the burning question, what is the burn?  Well when you go thru external radiation your healthy tissue in that area breaks down and that includes your skin.  When my mom was asking about it I assumed that she meant my butt cheeks would get burned, yay, no!  I'll blame my stupidity here on chemo brain.  Everything from the taint back is like the worst sun burn you could imagine.  I dread having a bowel movement with every fiber of my being.  After talking it over with my doctor, she suggested that they tape my cheeks open during radiation, as if radiation couldn't get more embarrassing!  Now instead of laying there on the cold table with my cheeks to the wind, I lay there like a filleted fish.  I didn't realize until almost 2 weeks later that when they tape me "open" they actually tape me to the table.  I'm literally trapped by a roll of scotch tape!

***WARNING***  It may get a little gross from here out, just saying.
I couldn't really tell you if the filleting has really helped my situation, shortly after talking to the doctor the first time my burn peaked (or at least lets hope so) and started to weep.  The skin was dying and sloughing off...EW!  I didn't even know what to do with that.  My biggest concern is infection, it isn't exactly the cleanest part of your body.  The burn is painful and itchy.  I switched to boxers because they don't rub up against my skin.  I've tried different creams, etc. but the only thing that helps (and only slightly) and doesn't interfere with radiation (zinc oxide will make the burn worse if not all off before treatments) is Aquaphor.  That and a frozen bag of peas that are currently sitting in my fridge labeled "butt peas, do not eat."  To be honest the best thing to do is let it air out like a diaper rash, but it isn't like I can just walk around with no pants on all day.  At times is uncomfortable to walk, but it is unbearable to poop.  Thank God for my diaper sprayer, aka bidet and baby wipes.  I tried tylenol for awhile as it helps take the edge off, but only slightly.  My doctor prescribed me pain medication to take about 30 minutes before a BM.  She told me to take the first one in the evening to see how it affects me.  They are fast acting narcotics, but the affects last but a few short hours.  HOLY CRAP!  I took my first dose this week after the kids were tucked in bed.  Within 30 minutes the room started to spin and my pain was gone.  It was like being drunk without the calories or the nasty hangover, I get why so many people become addicted to these things.  In the last couple days the pain has subsided a bit, so I try to avoid taking to many pain pills.  They are a double edge sword, they take the pain away for a little while, but they also make you constipated....as I already explained it hurts to poop!

Next week is my last week of radiation, I hear it is the worst.  The last three days they do what my doctor calls bursting.  During the 28 treatments, the first 25 treat the larger pelvic area in order to ensure positive margins, the last three treatments attacks only the tumor and lymph nodes themselves.  From how my doctor described it the last 3 treatments require a higher dose of radiation.  In other words the fallout from the last 3 treatments may be a bit worse for my already sore butt.