The End of the Beginning

Today was my final day of radiation.  I was ecstatic and nervous.  The first trek of the long journey ahead is now over, but what next.  For starters I know that I can take my dignity back at least for a little while.  No more being filleted like a fish daily with my butt to the wind.  No more having to drink a bunch of water and than praying later that I don't wet myself during treatment.  No more trying to jump down from the table without showing my goods or totally eating it on the landing.

The effects of the radiation have left me blistered and burned.  I itch terribly in places that really should not be scratched or for that matter mentioned.  Sometimes bowel movements make me want to curl up in a ball and cry for my mommy (My cat, Dash, appears instead to beg for his dinner).  I'm often tired, irritable and sometimes drugged up.  So was it worth it?  Yes!  If it means I am here on this earth for even a few more moments, than Hell YES!  It will take some time for the radiation effects to go away and some side effects will be life changing.  The true test will come in a few weeks when they do another ultrasound; with any luck the tumor will be gone in its entirety.  That won't get me out of surgery or chemo, but it would surely lessen the extent of my surgery.

After my last treatment was done, everyone who was involved in my care gathered around to congratulate me.  Even got myself a nifty certificate, but I doubt I will be hanging that on my wall for display....maybe the fridge for a week or two.  And than I got the bell to ring.  I had imagined that the bell would be like that on the ship's bridge or maybe like the SEALS have for the guys who can't make it, but instead it was a small hand bell.  Either way I could not have been happier ringing the crap out of that thing and marking the end of my beginning.