My Roller Coaster

My life for the last 3 years has been a constant medical roller coaster.  It all started back in August of 2009, my husband was deployed to Bahrain when he called to tell me he was diagnosed with skin cancer.  Unfortunately it wasn't the kind of skin cancer that you could just burn off and be done with it; it was melanoma and it was deep in his lymphatic tissue.  He was medivacced back state side and they began the staging process and treatment.  Thankfully the cancer had stayed in his arm and after several surgeries the doctors believed that he was cancer free.  He also started in a clinical trial early the following year.  Surgery and screening is really the only treatment for melanoma.

When the dust had settled from Dennis' cancer we decided to try for our second child.  I know it sounds crazy, but we wanted two kids and we weren't about to live our lives in fear of the cancer or what may or may not happen.  In September of 2010 I gave birth to a healthy 9 lb 12 oz baby boy, Thomas.  All was right with the world or so we thought.  At 6 months Tommy started showing signs of gross motor delays; the doctors gave me the line "babies progress at different times."  At 9 months I brought him again and finally someone took notice.  About a month or so later he was scheduled for a MRI of his brain.  He was diagnosed with a very rare (by rare I mean 25-30 cases in the US each year) AVM known as a Vein of Galen Malformation (VOG or VGM) and hydrocephalus.  It was the worst day of my life.

Now you may be wondering "What in the world is VOG?" Google it, it is really not the easiest thing to explain.  I will say that 20 some years ago they weren't able to save kids with VOG, now a days they can save 70% of babies born with this.  Of that 70% some of those babies still have lasting problems, seizures, strokes, cerebral palsy and mental delays.  Tommy was lucky though, he seems to be one of the milder cases.  On the 12th of July he had his first and hopefully his last embolization.  He is showing no lasting effects from his VOG and has been in physical therapy to address his gross motor delay.  He will continued to be monitored to ensure he does not need future treatment.

It has been just over six months since our last medical catastrophe.  Seriously, what else could possibly go wrong.  Well a lot I guess.  Over the past couple of years I had been suffering from what I thought was internal hemorrhoids.  I know, it's not a glamorous thing to be afflicted with, but lets face it shit happens.  When Dennis was deployed I had them checked out and was told that they were hemorrhoids and I could have them removed if I wish.  Well as explained above life happened and removal of said hemorrhoids was postponed.

Fast forward to present day.  Last month I decided to go and see a colorectal specialist and she was suspect to what this "hemorrhoid" really was and requested I have a colonoscopy done.  So I did, yesterday in fact.  Not a very fun thing to do and something I never expected I would do at the ripe old age of 31.  When all was said and done the doctor told me about the mass they found, but that she didn't believe it was a hemorrhoid.  She had taken a biopsy of the mass, but she felt given my age and the consistency of the mass that it most likely wasn't cancer.  Well today I get called not once but twice by the doctors office saying that they want to talk to me today about the biopsy results.  I knew immediately that it was bad news.  Sure enough I was right, Cancer.

I don't know much more information than that I have it.  I don't know if it is localized or if it has spread.  At first I was terrified but my terror has quickly turned into anger.  I'm pissed!  I have been dealt more shit in the last 3 year than some people see in a lifetime.  I am an otherwise healthy 31 year old with a wonderful husband and two small children.  I live a very low risk type of lifestyle.  What the hell have I done and who the hell did I piss off to deserve all this?  Who knows; it is what it is and now it is time to deal with it.  To turn my anger into something productive I'm starting this blog for a couple of reasons.  First being to keep friends and family updated on our state of being.  I feel like Facebook is not the environment in which I want to share this type of information.  Secondly I'm using this blog as a way to push out all that negative energy.  I'm hoping that writing about my day to day trials may help me cope with all of this stuff that keeps falling into my lap.  Who knows, maybe my ramblings will become of use to another family dealing with similar issues.

I will do my best to continue to update my blog with what is going on with my crazy family.  I'm sure as I go thru the staging process I will have more to share.  Until then, wish us luck.